Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Free time by-product

A few years ago, when I suddenly found myself with an increased dose of free time at hand, I instinctively started to use the increment to do the things I liked the most. As soon as my enthusiasm started to dwindle though, I realized that I was unconsciously undertaking another project as well.
There are no longer any doubts: I was born with lots of shortcomings. As the years went on they grew up with me, becoming heavier and ever more cumbersome. As if that weren't enough then, others were added to the list of the congenital ones. For a very long time I didn't take care of them: when I was a teenager I was too busy trying to fit in with the world that surrounded me and later I found myself entangled in a skein of activities that, even though I had chosen to do them myself, felt as if they had been somehow forced upon me.
When I gave most of that up and had more free time to rely on I almost unintentionally started to identify those aspects of my personality that I didn't like or were giving me problems, especially in relation to other people, and I tried to tackle them, to come up with a way to fix them, or at least to smooth them down. I don't wanna boast about having so far been very successful, but at least I can say that I've started to try. 
Started to try...it sounds like a tiny, almost insignificant goal. And maybe it is...but only after you've achieved it.

Photo "Montmartre" by John Althouse Cohen (CC)

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