South East Asia disgust test

Thinking of going to South East Asia for an adventurous, fun or relaxing trip? If you are not prepared to face the following scenes it is better for you to change plans before it is too late. Well maybe the aseptic Singapore can be fine, but just that one...

Angels my ass - Angeles, Philipines

If you ever happen to land at Angeles, Pampanga province, Luzon island, Philipines, don't let the name mislead you. You might think you've arrived to some garden in Paradise, but it actually is a rat hole full of prostitutes. I got the first hints when, asking about the rooms fares, at every hotel I was asked back: 'one or three hours, Sir?'
Angels my ass...

Iceberg - Boracay, Philippines

I've just ordered a pizza with vegetables. I was expecting grilled eggplant, peppers, tomatoes. Nothing like that. They brought me one with lettuce on top. It's Iceberg, the tasteless leaves you find in Big Macs as well. I can't even complain: technically they are right. Had I done it they could have removed the mozzarella cheese as well.

OOO SOOOOLEEE MIOOOO...

It's something I do everyday: I open the Corriere della Sera website, to find out what's going on back home. I read the first ten news and I learn that a few more people have just been arrested: the general manager of Milan Expo 2015, a former ministry of the Republic and the current president of the Italian basketball league. I close the Web page, I place a hand on my chest, the other on my crotch and, under the bewildered looks of the nice Filipinos, i start to sing OOO SOOOOLEEE MIOOOO...

Dancing traffic police - Bacolod, Philippines

I've never needed a reason to pack up my bags and start traveling. I've been "on the road" for years, many years, almost without interruption. There are moments though, moments when I get off a run down truck, at an unremarkable crossroads, surrounded by buildings made of stained concrete, smeared glass, rusty metal, and torn plastic canvas, whose old colors have been faded by the blows of the tropical sun. I get off the truck then, I turn around, I see something weird, amusing, surprising and I say damn carrying around backpacks, clothes, electronic devices and a guitar that I can't even play to end up in this world's asshole and enjoy the show that is unfolding in front of me was definitely worth it!
I'm standing at one of those crossroads right now, in downtown Bacolod, a city in the island of Negros, in the heart of the Philippines archipelago, and I'm watching open mouthed the performance of a policeman that is directing traffic with a mix of Michael Jackson's moonwalk, Tony Manero's hip moves and Nureyev elegant steps. Hilarious. A situation whose surreal angle I seem to be the only one to notice. 

I took a few videos, here they are:

Funny signs/10

I often come across some funny signs, billboards, notices and labels. When it happens I always make sure that I don't leave the spot without a photo. I'll post them here a few at a time.

Caution! - Koh Samui, Thailand

Thanks a lot, it's so kind of you - Shanghai Pudong airport, China

Why??? - Suzhou, China

Funny folks - Boracay, Philippines

Alright, you can't say we didn't warn you.
Now it's not our problem anymore...

BOOM! There was a loud explosion somewhere in Boracay Main Road. I think the blast came from the top of the building in front of me. Some people scream, then they relax and someone even starts to giggle. I ask a lady who is standing beside me what that was about. She answers something that I can't quite understand. Run...done...bun...something of the sort. It doesn't make sense though, what does that mean? Hold on a second...no! It can't be. I ask again. She answers with calm, almost bored: "Someone shot a gun." What??? A GUN!!! And then she also starts laughing while she's talking about it with a storekeeper. 
This guys are fantastic. After all I should have already guessed that last year here.