Wednesday, March 6, 2013

The reverse sunflower technique

Maybe I'm the only unlucky bastard. I don't know about you, but to me it happens all the time. You've just caught a glimpse of a girl's face and you are under the impression that she might be very beautiful. Maybe it's been the gleam of a profile, the promise of two juicy lips, a pair of slide-shaped lashes, shiny and jet-black. The problem is that it only lasted a moment and you're not sure about it: how many times in the past they didn't pass the second-glance-test? Now she's turning her back on you and doubts remain. In order to dispel them you move along the arc of a circle having her as center, as short as possible of course, not to be noticed. It's a vain hope: you keep advancing and she rotates in sync, turning her back on you all along. Changing direction doesn't help, she is doing it as well, as if there were a magnet or rather an axle connecting you to her, forcing your bodies to move in an integral way. If you try a diversionary move some idiot will interpose his figure, nose up in the air, as if he was attracted by the smell of roast chicken coming from a shop nearby, unaware of your strife, therefore inculpable, nonetheless damned.
You can forget about it, there is nothing to do: you have entered a labyrinth that doesn't have an exit, like one of those used in college geometry courses in order to exemplify an absurd 4D world. The girl is adopting the infamous reverse sunflower technique.
This flower, as everybody knows, rotates around an axis represented by its stem, continuously turning its face to the sun. Here there are no stars to turn a face to though. At worst there is an anti-sun, a black hole, maybe even an asshole. Unfortunately that hole is you, and the girl is always turning her back on it, denying you the pleasure to see her face.
There is nothing to regret, it's neither her fault nor yours. The reverse sunflower technique is tightly bolted to her chromosomes. It's her nature, some sort of ancestral instinct. Like the one that makes a puppy raise it's paw when peeing, that teaches a cuckoo to lay her eggs on someone else's nest, that guides a salmon upstream or European eels to mate in the Sargasso sea. 
You can try as many times as you like, without success. You'll always have her ass in front of you. Yet again, come to think of it, why don't you make the best of a bad bargain, contenting yourself to look just at that? If she really is a beautiful girls, as you suspect, it shouldn't let you down.

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