They are wealthy, sophisticated, well behaved, nicely dressed, well spoken. The foreigner they are talking about is me. Maybe I should be flattered - and in a way, a few days later, sitting in my room, by myself, thinking about it while I'm writing, I will actually be - but I have to admit that in the heat of the moment I'm a little pissed off. I'm a straight guy and...what the hell, why did it have to be them who looked at and dropped comments about me while the hot girls sitting at the table next to mine didn't even notice me for almost an hour?
As an irreverent, self-destructive and - in a slightly sinister way maybe - also funny device to turn the tables I'm tempted to try with a booming fart. But then this is Thailand, a rather superstitious place, and as those girls don't seem to be able to see me I'm afraid they are going to think that the loud and smelly bomb was dropped by some ghost crouching on my armchair (*).
Unless your goal is being left alone in some place, farts are always a poor strategy: in this case, for instance, it would only make me lose those nice homosexual people's respect, without any hot girls related gain in return.
(*) You can find another story about superstition, spirits and ghosts in Thailand here.
Photo: German Heinkel 111 dropping bombs (real ones) on the Russian front.