Amen - part two: the closing argument

Some of you may have thought my reflections on heaven and hell (you can find them by following this link) were blasphemous, or maybe just nonsense: completely baseless foolishness.
Objection, Your Honor. To clear up any misunderstanding, I call to the stand none other than the Bible itself, in paper and ink.

The Book of Genesis opens, like all great literature, "in medias res", with God, all alone for who knows how long, suffocating from boredom and falling prey to a compulsive creationism, which kicks off the history of the world. 
But even the world, so lifeless, doesn't save him from the tedium. So, using recycled materials, the way every clever kid does to get around that annoying state of mind, he builds himself a little toy: man. Then he plants the Garden of Eden and plops him right in the middle of it.
Man, though, is a lot like me: he wanted to be born in hell, where he surely would have had a blast. Instead he finds himself in this gorgeous place that looks a bit like Switzerland or Singapore. He stands around dazed for a few moments, admiring the splendor, but once the "wow" effect wears off, he starts getting bored shitless.

God, who has few rivals when it comes to empathy, partly because he's the only one around, notices: as you'll remember, he'd been through the same thing himself not long before. So he makes him animals, but the trick turns out to be a washout: man plays with them for a little while and then gets sick of them.
So God tries again and creates woman. In its own way, this gimmick also has to do with a hole, but it's definitely no washout. And this time man is into it. Woman piques his curiosity and tempts him into breaking the rule against eating the fruit of the tree of knowledge. The two little scamps, using the advice of an alleged talking snake as an excuse, eat the symbolic apple, setting off down the fantastic epistemological path we've never left since. 

Mr. Touchy finds out, though, flies into a rage, and kicks them down to hell.

So, to sum up: in heaven everybody tends to be bored out of their fucking minds, the host included. The moment they try to entertain themselves a little — fucking, snooping around, raising doubts, asking uncomfortable questions — they get told to head on down to hell, evidently a better fit for that kind of activity.

Now, taking into account a source above any suspicion whatsoever, you tell me, Esteemed Members of this Illustrious Jury: when I said hell would be a more interesting place than heaven, where exactly was I wrong?

You can read the whole "Amen" saga by following this link.

Drafted from Italian with Blog Translator, then revised by me.