The survivors - Bangkok, Thailand

The survivors. I owe the naming to someone else, but I've known who they are for many years. I've seen people who strive for a living in China, or who vegetate among garbage on the streets in India, poor in Cambodia, criminals in Brazil, but most of the survivors survive in Thailand. They live on the edge, walking with elegance on a line that runs high between luxury and poverty. They don't have a job yet they do almost everything, they escape every category borrowing something from each one. They are proud and dignified, they think high of themselves, they have a reputation and won't do silly things. Everything is calculated, profitable, respectable. Sometime they might extort some money from man, but even if they sleep with a guy they don't like, both the target and the venue are chosen with care. You can't call them whores, it wouldn't be fair, as you don't do it with girls who do the same thing elsewhere. They help a businessman finding his clients, or assist an agent in closing a deal, they help their friends when the workload is huge. You stare at them and you're amazed: they look so strong, with a purpose, a straight mind. They know what they want and how to get it, they dress with style and that look in their eyes...

But you must remember that they are only girls, sometimes they screw up, they make a mistake and all of a sudden they look so fragile. Don't be surprised if they are looking for you. They can read people and they've done it with you. They are not after your money, you're not the right type. They are confident, sociable, the world revolves around them, but deep down inside sometimes they feel lonely and they need someone like you to stand by their side. I said someone like you, yes, just like you.

Photo "Woman's curls" by Nishan, from Allposters.com

She surrendered... - Bangkok, Thailand

"Even if you're trying your best, at the beginning it can be frustrating, then, all of a sudden, something happens..." This is what somebody told me when I decided to win her heart. And today...something happened. I don't know how to say, I still cannot tell if it's working out but I feel that I'm finally going somewhere.

It's as if she surprisingly surrendered to my courting and felt that she likes me a little bit. I kind of liked her since the very first moment. It's true, she was bulky and made me feel awkward, but I was enchanted by her nice looks. She...well...it was not mutual. Actually I think that she even hated me and tried really hard to make me quit. She sliced my fingers, twisted my wrist, cut through my legs, bumped into the walls and the furniture of my apartment, produced piercing sounds with the clear intent of turning my neighbours against me. But she gave up. After a few days of struggle, at last she said: "OK, I keep humiliating you but you always stand up. Don't get me wrong, you definitely suck, and the way you're trying to use me is even worse, but you're a stubborn one, and I can't stop you. Give me your hand and go ahead, I won't resist you anymore".

I gave her my hand, I gave her both. Now when I touch her she does not hurt my fingers and I feel more relaxed when I am with her. I won't give up, will go straight ahead and I'll keep on trying to play this guitar...Forgive me if you're the ones who live next door.

Photo "Guitar girl", from Allposters.com 

My guardian spirit - Bangkok, Thailand

A girl who I used to date,  when we woke up one morning, told me that my room was inhabited by a ghost. He appeared in her dreams, wearing his shroud. He was not the scary type though: an Asian version of Casper, the smiling ectoplasmic boy of the animation-movies.

He slowly approached her, kind of hovering over the bed, and politely asked her who she was. When she said she was a friend he said it was OK, invited her to come back again and then disappeared. 

Thai people believe in ghosts and spirits, they like to talk about them, make movies about them, it's a mix of dread and fascination. Thailand has real and elaborate ghost culture. 

When you go to a Thai restaurant, a house or a hospital you're likely to spot a small colorful shrine, like a little house on top of a pedestal. On the porch of the house there will be bottles of soft drink, fruits, rice, flowers and incense sticks. The Thais believe that some guardian spirits live and linger about the area. These spirits need to be taken care of, as a token of respect or for fear of their rage. 

I told the girl that I had talked to my ghost and confirmed that she was indeed a friend of mine. Surprisingly enough I wasn't kidding: in  the way of one who comes from a distant place, with a Christian background mixed with rational skepticism, socialism, materialism, liberalism, capitalistic shallowness et cetera et cetera, without a clue of how approach a ghost, with guilty secrecy and embarrassed haste, I had really tried to talk to the ghost! She thanked me for that without irony or mockery.

Not that I really believe in ghosts but since I've been told there's one in my apartment, and I could be wrong and ghosts might exist, I might put some water somewhere in my room.

Image "Hamlet and his father's ghost" by J.H. Fussli, 1780-1785, from Wikipedia.org 

That second mouthful - Bangkok, Thailand

A friend of yours has arrived today and this is the first time that he's visiting Thailand. You take him to a restaurant and order Som tam (*). You tell the waiter to make it mai pet (**). The dish is in front of you, you taste it first and you're supposed to tell your friend whether it's hot or not. It does taste nice, so fresh, crispy and sour. Hold on! Don't do it, don't tell him "it's OK", as if you didn't know much better than that. Wait for a while and take a second bite. The remaining slices of green papaya might have undergone spontaneous self-combustion. You're mouth goes dry, your face is a turnip and the fork is hovering between you and the plate. They didn't add peppers, as it was supposed to be, but nobody took the trouble to wash the mortar. And if this is an authentic Isan (***) joint, for the previous patron they might have put thirty chilies. 

(*) Som tam (ส้มตำ): green papaya salad. It comes in many different varieties.

(**) Mai pet (ไม่เผ็ด): not spicy. What is considered "not spicy" in Thailand can be glowing coals for many westerners. It can be even worse in case we are talking about the North-eastern provinces. If you want your food to be "not spicy" you have to order it mai pet lei (ไม่เผ็ดเลย), which means "not spicy at all", or mai sai prik (ไม่ใส่พริก), which means "don't add any chili".

(***) Isan (อีสาน): North-eastern part of Thailand, culturally related to Laos.

Photo by Fabio Pulito

Two books - Bangkok, Thailand

Normally I do my reading in a simple sequence: when a book is over I select a new one. But this time, for some reason, I started two volumes and I can't put on hold neither one of them. The stories are good but what really caught me is that they are written in a beautiful way. The problem I faced is how to organize this? One for the night and one for the day? Alternate days, or depending on the mood? The solution was suggested by the books themselves. As far as the size goes Don Delillo's "Underworld" is twice as big as Miller's "Tropic of Capricorn". When I'm going out, for the train rides or the cafe, I put Miller's tales inside my bag. When I'm at home, where the bulk doesn't count, I sit on the sofa and read "Underworld".

Photo Henry Miller (GNU, CC), from Wikipedia.org

Technical problem - Bangkok, Thailand

My laptop is at the service centre. I can only publish from an internet cafe.

The last tie - Bangkok, Thailand

There are nights when falling asleep is tantamount to murder. It might just be a book that you have finished reading, or maybe an evening, a relation or an encounter. You feel that by sleeping and putting an end to the day you're untying the last bond between you and that experience. And the one thing that you definitely don't want to do is cutting that tie by means of a dream.

(Image: Le Rêve, Pablo Picasso. 1932)