Letter to a thief - Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

Photo by walkinginspace pt2 (CC)

Dear thief,
Unknown thief. I mean the profession of course, not the insult. Even though finding out that you've been robbed of 60 euros could lead you to indulge on the orgasmic pleasure that only insults can instill - insults directed to a target as yet unknown, and therefore easy to hit without complications of conscience - thinking more carefully about it you will see that it's not worth it. 
I have already been vaccinated against robbery-induced-anger or shock. Many things were stolen from me in the past: money in different currencies, traveler's cheques, credit card data, cameras, a car (not mine), bicycles, mobile phones. You might say that I am naive, careless or vulnerable. Maybe you're right, but I say that I am just exposed to risk. That's the way I live my life, some sort of intuitive commandment: don't give up a curiosity, an emotion, an experience, a pleasure just because something might happen. And if you do that too often, or almost all the time, sometimes something will actually happen.
I am not rich, I cannot afford to lose such a sum every other day and just have a laugh about it. But I'm not poor either and I'll get over it, actually I already have. I will think of something worth that amount that I'll have to make without, but it'll just be a pretense, as I don't live a luxurious life and there isn't really anything that I need to give up.
But you, oh yes, you, that was such a thoughtless thing to do. Very skillful indeed, as you managed to stick two fingers into my pocket, get hold of all the 10 and 50 ringgit bills that were there and leave the smaller ones behind - as if you wanted to show off your talent and mock me at the same time - all that without me feeling a thing. Alright, the crowd that was pushing against me in that pub made it easier, but still it was a good sleight of hands. How thoughtless though, as I said, for the bad karma that you called upon yourself will chase you until it makes you pay the bill. And as you stole 60 euros that might be any 60 things that could be taken off or assigned to you: days of your life - or maybe months ? - disappointments, or sad moments, love pains...who knows, karma is inevitable, its outcome guaranteed, but its ways are unpredictable.
What did you say? You're neither Buddhist nor Hindu and karma affairs are none of your business? Oh but it simply doesn't work like that: you might not be interested in karma but karma is definitely interested in you. Look at me for example, I'm not a believer of those religions either but even in a place like this, where normally hardly anybody pays attention to me, this beautiful, tall girl is coming here to console me, and she smiles at me, and waits for me to say something, which, of course, I don't say, because I often behave like this: I miss chances, convinced that others will come along even though there is no evidence to support this shaky conviction, other than the fact that there have always been another chance, so far, at least, there have always been another one.
And in fact look at that other girl, yeah, she's not as tall as the previous one - that a silly jealous friend after noticing her movements is dragging away from here -  but she's pretty, cute and petite. She's talking with that handsome Dutch guy that I met earlier but when she sees me she startles, she's saying something, I read her lips and she's saying I know you, but I've never seen her before and I step back and hide behind a column because besides being prone to missing lucky chances sometimes I am also overcome by this kind of childish behavior, but she moves and she's still staring at me and while I read again on her lips that same statement that is nailing me on the spot - out of curiosity or shyness or both - she's already walking towards me. She's in front of me now and she says that I am Fabio, and actually that's my name, not a common one in Kuala Lumpur, by the way. Who is she, what place, person or event can I associate her to, I quickly scan a messy list in my mind but I can't find anything, I don't know many people in this city and I remember the faces of the ones I know. I'm from Thailand, she's saying now, and that makes more sense because I know more people there than here but still she's not one of them. She says that I'm Italian, another thing that she shouldn't be saying to me but I to her as it's the first time we meet, of this I'm sure, and she's naming places where she saw me before and I actually used to go there as well. Finally she has to go, she leaves me dumbfounded. She spots me again outside of the joint and comes to say goodbye and see you again in Bangkok. I should have said something witty but she's already gone. Luckily she didn't greet me with that expression that some Thai girls like to say to make you laugh even though it has never even snatched a smile from my lips, see you when you see me, really a powerless joke.
Well, are you finally convinced now, young thief? You don't believe in karma? But he believes in you, and in what you've done. You'd better start thinking of things that can occur 60 times, or maybe 250, as that's the actual sum in local currency that you so skillfully picked from my pocket. You can run, you can hide, you can ignore it or make fun of it, but sooner or later karma always finds you.

Good luck and best regards,
Your victim aka occasional money box.
F.P.

That's China - Kunming, China

(Spring 2006) 
We've finally found a place to stay. Three spacious bedrooms, a huge living hall. It's at the fifth floor and there is no lift, but you can get hypnotized by the view on the Green Lake. We don't know who used to live here and for how long it's been vacant, but the floors and the furniture are in a pitiful state. The agency recommends a cleaning firm. Three thin men arrive, with jackets and moccasins, a couple of buckets, sponges, rags. We're struck dumb by the scene and we think of the mantra that people have kept telling us since we arrived. If something doesn't make sense it's because...that's China...

For a couple of hours they pretend they're cleaning. At first we say something but then we drop it. When it's time to leave they seem to be in a hurry, they nervously smile and then bounce down the stairs. We look at each other and we say it loud, the explanation must definitely be: "That's China!" We look around to see what they have done. They didn't really clean the place, but at least they've scratched the first layer away.

The following day I open a drawer and fish out the bag where I keep my cash. Of all the objects that were in the house this must be the one they have cleaned the best. They haven't even left a renminbi inside.

Also stories like this one have something to teach. The expression "that's China" is not a universal key and at the end for some aspects the whole world is a village.

Photo "Green lake from a window", by Fabio Pulito

The same old trick - Bangkok, Thailand

Silom road, central Bangkok. I'm kind of shouldering my way through a typically busy Asian sidewalk, towards the escalator of the Sky-train station. I swerve around an elegant Thai lady on the left, a flower street vendor squatting on the right, I skirt a hooker who's chasing his catch, hop past the table of a noodle-soup stall and I finally make it to the bottom of the stairs. Just when I'm about to set my foot on the step, a teenager shows up and blocks my way.

Maybe he's begging, or wants to sell me something. With both his hands he's carrying a bag, the content of which I cannot see. When I try to rush past him and up the stairs he does something that could be normal in India or in Morocco, but that one wouldn't definitely expect to see here. He doesn't give up and keeps blocking my way, walking backwards with a stubborn grin. As I don't surrender and keep trying to overtake him, he uses his bag to shove me against the rail. I'm totally taken by surprise and for one or two seconds I just stay still. Out of the corner of my eye I notice that his partner is approaching from behind, so I tell him to back off and push his bag and him away.

The escalator is carrying me away from troubles, but I'm still looking down at that pair of cunning urchins. I watch them while they play the same trick with a tourist. For a while he pretends he's not bothered at all, but finally he explodes with a liberating cry: “I'm not interested!”
Interested in what? I say to myself. In being pick-pocketed? I'm quite sure that the second thief didn't have a chance to search my bag, but I still check my belongings once I am upstairs. Everything seems to be all right.

I approach the banister of the elevated station and try to spot them on the street below. They seem to be gone, but I'm not sure, therefore I walk down to the opposite side. I meet them there, they look relaxed, strolling and hunting for another prey. I stop on the sidewalk and stare at them: the one who pushed his bag against my chest smiles for a moment but then, maybe because he remembers my face or for the hostile look given off by my eyes, he turns away to join his friend.

Fortunately these things don't happen very often, that's the main reason why I was so surprised. It's true that in Thailand scams, pick-pocketing and other troubles occur, but it's usually not very serious stuff or things that can be avoided with a little care.

Accepting a tuk-tuk ride of one hour for ten baht, for example, can lead you, as a worst case scenario, to a boring hop-on hop-off tour of silk-outlets, tailors, jeweleries and other shops. Some other drivers will try to convince you that the Royal Palace is closed for the day, in order to take you somewhere else and get a good deal for a whole afternoon.
Apparently reliable and well-educated touts might invite you to follow them to a gambling house or to buy some unbelievably cheap sapphires. There's no need to say, of course, that the gamblers are crooks and the sapphires fakes.

There are people who decided to buy drugs on the street. A few minutes later they received a free gift: a cordial visit to their hotel room from a patrol of corrupt but zealous cops.

Some other foreigners (including who writes) have had some belongings stolen in their rooms. Those, however, were rather cheap hotels, with low levels of security or none at all.

There have even been cases of armed robbery and murders. Such serious crimes though, do not happen often, anyway less than in some more developed countries.

Obviously today's incident cannot be dismissed as a trifle, for one could have had his passport or wallet snatched. At the same time it's not easy to avoid falling for it as the trick, though old, proves to be an effective one.

Anyway I wouldn't worry too much about this. All in all I've had few problems since I came to Asia years ago. I don't believe that what happened today marks the beginning of a new, worrisome, era in terms of Thai security standards.